


Don’t You Call Him What You Used to Call Me

by Adolescentcatlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Always Female Cas, Always Female Sam, F/M, Genderbent Eileen, If You Squint - Freeform, but sam is happy, for like the first time ever, gabriel is a sad boy, slight destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adolescentcatlady/pseuds/Adolescentcatlady
Summary: Loosely based on Cherry by Harry Styles, Gabe is back from the dead again and he tries to run back to Sam like he usually does. Except this time, she’s apparently moved on, happily dating a deaf hunter named Ethan. Gabe should be happy for her, but why does it hurt so much.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel was back. Again. Somehow. He wasn’t sure if it was a curse or a blessing, or what anymore. The last thing he remembered was getting stabbed with an angel blade, wielded by an alternate version of Michael. He’d have to die and come back a few more times to wrap his head around that mess of a storyline. But regardless of how he got here, he was here. His grace returned back to his old vessel, his senses slowly coming back to him. First with a twitch of his nose, then a wiggle of his fingers. He sat up, rolling his shoulders, feeling his invisible wings present against his back. He snapped his fingers, making a candy bar appear out of thin air. Everything seemed like it was back to normal. Yet, something was missing. He looked around, taking in his surroundings and he realized he wasn’t sure where he was. When he came back, it was usually because he was forced out of hiding. Because those damned Winchester stirred up more trouble. Wait.  
Sam.  
His mind went straight to the younger Winchester. His pulse was loud in his ears.  
Years ago, if someone had told him that he’d want to be involved with all the shit those Winchester’s caused, he would’ve laughed in their face. But now, his heart was involved. Over the time Gabriel knew the Winchester’s, he just thought it was fun to mess with them. Killing Dean over and over was a personal favorite of his, but seeing Sam hurt over and over wasn’t. He thought it was all fun and games till he saw those big brown puppy dogs eyes staring at him, begging him to bring her brother back to her. Of course, he couldn’t say no. But since then, he’s always had a soft spot for the younger Winchester sibling. He didn’t know then that Sam would let him in. That they would spend precious moments together. Even if they were in secret, those were some of his favorite memories. The soft kisses, the not so soft kisses. Getting Samantha Winchester to trust him, to relax with him, to let him love her. Those were his proudest moments. It was one of the only times he was truly happy. Spending time with the woman he loved. And then he died. Again. He remembered her calling out his name as the alternate Michael stabbed him. Dean had to stop her from running to his side, shoving her back through the rift.  
He had to get back to her.  
Gabriel slowly stood up, his joints creaking as he did. A sigh escaped his lips and he focused on Sam’s soul. The soul of Samantha Winchester was as bright as new sun to him, and he found it easily, residing in Lebanon, Kansas. Of course, they were still in the Men of Letter’s Bunker. Gabriel felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach as he remembered the last time he was there. He had sex with Rowena there. In the library. With Sam, Dean, and Cas a couple rooms away. Not his greatest move, but hopefully, it had been forgotten. Or will be forgotten once he miraculously appears to them again.  
The trip to the bunker only took a second. He stared at the metal door, his heart pounding in his ears. Not sure what else to do, he knocked, the metallic sound louder than he expected. After a few agonizing minutes, the door slowly creaked open, and familiar hazel eyes stared into his brown ones.  
“Hiya, Sammy.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Hiya, Sammy.” he grinned at her, trying to hide the nervousness he felt through his entire body.  
Sam was shocked, looking at the man- well archangel- that she had thought was dead. Stupid of her really, he always came back, no matter how real his death felt. He always showed up to cause more havoc.  
“You’re.. here” she said, her mind racing.She had just gotten over him, moved on. Even found someone new. But she barely thought of Ethan now, she had to deal with the zombie archangel standing in front of her.  
“I’m just as surprised as you are, Sammich.” He could practically see her mind working, trying to figure how this happened again. How he kept turning up like a bad penny.  
“You gonna let me in or is there a password?” He teased gently, his smile starting to fade. Did she not want him there? The last time he came back she ran to him, hugged him, and even kissed him. But now she just stared.  
“Oh, right, yeah. Come on in,” she replied, her brain finally catching up to what was happening. She pulled the door open for him, letting him step inside before closing it and spinning the lock.  
“Dean and Cas went into town to get supplies, they should be back soon though. It’s just me and, uh, Ethan here right now.” Sam said, as they both descended the stairs to the map room, her voice trailing off, guilt starting to build up in her stomach.  
“Oh no, I missed your overbearing asshole of a big brother. Whatever shall I do.” Gabriel chuckled, his voice dripping in sarcasm. Sam leaned against the table, letting out a breath of a laugh. Her nerves not letting her look him in the eye. Gabe knew something was wrong, he could tell just by looking at her. He had barely said anything, so it can’t be his fault. At least not yet.  
“Gabe, I-“ Sam started but she was cut off by a voice calling her name from the library. The owner of the voice, a tall man with shaggy brown hair, walked in to join them. He stiffened as soon as he saw the new comer, his trained hand reaching for the knife concealed in his waistband. Great, another hunter, Gabriel thought, just what we needed.  
“Sam, who’s this?” The man said, his spare hand signing the words he was saying. Not just a hunter, he’s deaf too? How could he compete with that?  
Sam glanced between the two men standing in front of her, the guilt apparent on her face.  
“This is my- my friend, Gabriel, the archangel.” Sam signed as she spoke, making sure to fully face the other man. Of course she knew sign language too. That woman never ceased to amaze Gabe.  
“Gabe, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is Gabriel.”  
“Nice to meet you,” Ethan smiled at him pleasantly, his hand still on his knife.  
Gabe nodded at him, waving slightly, not exactly sure how to act with this new guy around.  
“Uh, Ethan, you mind giving us a second,” Sam said, moving closer to him, reassuring him gently, “Gabe and I should talk.”  
Ethan glanced between the two of them and nodded after a beat, heading out to the kitchen.  
“At least we don’t have to worry about him over hearing us, huh?” Gabe smiled at her, an attempt to lighten the mood in any way. Sam glared at him, a look he was more than used to. But there was an unusual level of sadness in her gaze as well.  
“So.. You’re back.” Sam stated, her arms crossed, her jaw clenched, “Get kicked out of Monte Carlo again?” Her voice was harsh and rightfully so. The last time he “died” he was hiding in Monte Carlo, with other demi-gods and a whole harem of porn stars. He was living the best life he could then, anyone would’ve said he was lucky. Till those demi-gods sold him off to that dick head Asmodemus. Then he fed off of Gabriel’s powerful grace and took Hell for himself. The only thing that saved Gabe was a pissed off ex-King of Hell, who dropped him off at the Winchester’s door. Except Gabriel wasn’t how they all knew him. He was broken and hurt. A shell of a being. But Cas was there and Sam was there. They talked to him, even if he wouldn’t talk back. They looked after him, until he was himself again. He never really thanked them for that. He didn’t want to admit that part of that story even happened, it was just a nightmare. But here he was again. Standing in front of her, perfectly fine and healthy, even if the last time she saw him he was getting stabbed.  
“I never got back to Monte Carlo this time,” Gabe said, conjuring a sucker and popping it into his mouth, “I’m pretty sure I actually died this time.”  
Sam nodded listening to him, her long dark brown hair pulled out of its usually ponytail as she ran her fingers through it.  
“I don’t know where I was,” Gabe continued, “There’s this rumor that when celestial beings die, they go to this place called the Empty. I dunno..”  
Sam nodded again, the silence becoming thick between them.  
“So..” Gabriel started again, he could never stand the silence, that’s why he constantly tried to fill it, “Who’s the guy?”  
He watched Sam stiffen, her fingers stopping mid brush.  
“He’s.. Well, his name is Ethan Leahy. We met a couple months back while hunting a banshee. He died because of us..”  
“Died.?” Gabe gave her a confused look, “You’re dating a ghost now?”  
“We’re not-” Sam sighed, already tired of trying to explain this to him, “I brought him back. Using one of Rowena’s spells.”  
It was Gabe’s turn to look guilty as they both remembered the last time Gabe and Rowena were in the same room together.  
“But I brought him back,” she powered through, “And he’s been living with us since, but that was only a couple weeks ago. It’s all.. New.”  
“Ah, the honeymoon phase, I remember ours.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, even though he knew it wouldn’t be taken well.  
“Gabriel..” Sam sighed again, her heart growing heavy in her chest, “we weren’t- It’s not the same-”  
She was cut off by the main door opening again.  
“Sammy! Sammy, we’re home, and I got your stupid kale.” Dean stomped down the stairs, even if he swore that’s how he walked. Castiel followed behind him, her blue eyes growing wide when she saw her older brother, his gaze softened when it reached her. It wouldn’t help though. Her heart was hard and cold to him, as it had been for how ever many years it had been. Millennials ago, Gabe was her care taker in Heaven. No one else wanted to look after the fledglings, so it became his job. Turns out he was great at it. He was the one who was with her as she grew. He taught her to fly, told her stories, and even snuck her out for field trips to Earth. But one day, he was gone. He had left her to hide, sticking his head in the sand. She had never fully forgiven him for that. Every time she saw him again, a new memory popped up. When he first told her how the world was created. When he told her how amazing humans were. How amazing animals and insects were. Everything was so beautiful to her then, but now, she’s seen too much, been hurt too much. She didn’t like to think about that dark time in her life. She preferred to keep her mind on the present. How she was happy here. With Dean. And the others, of course. She loved Sam and Jack as much as Dean. Or so she told herself. Her breathing slowed down as she grounded herself. But none of that mattered anymore. What mattered was her brother miraculously back from the grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! i hope you’re enjoying this as much as i am :)


	3. Chapter 3

“What the hell is he doing here?” the anger unmistakable in Dean’s voice, and in his face. He never was skilled at hiding his feelings. Sam opened her mouth to try explain, but Gabe cut her off.  
“Good to see you too, Dean-o”, he drawled, knowing it would make his skin crawl. The scowl out of Dean let Gabe know he hit his mark.  
“I thought we were finally done with you. But I guess we can’t have nice things.” He grumbled, carrying the groceries to the kitchen, Cas following him closely.  
“Well, now everyone knows I’m back,” Gabriel’s smile faded once he and Sam were left alone. He never had to hide his true feelings from her, or at least he never wanted to. And she never hid her true feelings from him, as much as she wanted to. Sam couldn’t bare to look at him, the rush of emotions she thought she was past all came back. Was she angry he was back? Yes and no. Her love life was awful, she knew that. After her boyfriend Jess died all those years ago, it slowly went down hill. Everyone she loved, even for a night, seemed to get hurt. She couldn’t stand it. Now, with Ethan, he was hurt because of them, but she brought him back. She finally fixed it. And now, he was back and she was left with a choice. Keep the boyfriend who was a hunter, who knew the life, who she felt like a normal person around. Or run back to her angel, who ripped her heart open every time he left, and yet, each time she saw him, she was whole. There was a fear instilled in her, that every man she loved would leave. But she knew they all couldn’t come back like Gabriel. She was constantly holding out hope that he would come back to her. And he did.  
Gabe cleared his throat, wrenching Sam from her thoughts. Gabe could see the sadness in her eyes and he knew it was his fault.  
“Well, good to see you again, Sammy,” he said, sighing slightly, moving to face the stairs up to the door, “but since you mentioned Monte Carlo, I should be getting back to it.” He didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t see her in pain like this, not because of him.  
“Please don’t go.” Sam’s voice was quiet and soft, not what someone would expect coming from her tall frame. That was enough for him to stop in his tracks.“I don’t want to see you go, not again, please.” Her eyes pleading with him.  
“What about you and your guy?” He turned back to her, trying to hide the bitterness his voice was threaded with.  
“I’m- I won’t leave him just because you’re back, Gabe. He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves better.” Sam nodded, accepting her decision as she said it. “But I’m hoping we can stay friends?”  
Gabe nodded slowly, perfectly willing to have any relationship with her that he can, just as long as he can stay. He was starting to take it as a good sign she wasn’t kicking his ass out, even after everything.  
“So, I’m just gonna have to accept seeing you all over another guy?” He smiled teasingly, his heart aching at the thought.  
“We’re not all over each other,” Sam blushed red, “We haven’t even actually kissed yet..”  
“You haven’t kissed?? What sort of slow burn, Jane Austin novel are you living right now?” he laughed, actually genuinely laughed. It felt good.  
“It just hasn’t happened yet,” she shrugged, her arms crossing tighter across her chest, “and I’m perfectly okay with that.”  
Gabe looked at the women he knew so well and just smiled.“Liar, you hate that you haven’t kissed him yet.”  
Sam stayed quiet for a second, before huffing. “You’re right. I hate it. It’s not his fault though. He’s tried to suggest it. He’s suggested much more than that, actually, but I just- I can’t.” She glanced at Gabe, letting herself really look at him, the reason she couldn’t really get close with Ethan. Gabe knew it too, and the knowledge was weighing on him more and more. Their pained and longing glances were cut off by Ethan coming back in. Gabe took the opportunity to get a good look at him this time.  
He could look this new guy in the eye. Good, he thought, finally someone who isn’t a giant. Ethan was wearing a dark green flannel, which proved he truly was a hunter. His dark brown hair was short, yet not as short as Dean’s militant hairstyle. His brown eyes were kind and soft. He had a cheerful, pleasant air about him. No wonder Sam was drawn to him. Gabe knew how much Sam loved a romance and a freaking prince was dropped in her lap. He couldn’t blame her for not wanting to leave this Ethan anymore. He doesn’t seem like the type to murder her brother over and over, or sleep with a witch two rooms away, or pick porn stars over her, or-  
“Is everything okay?” Ethan asked Sam, concern clear on his face, glancing between them. Almost as if he was trying to figure out if he still had a girlfriend or not.  
Sam smiled softly, all traces of painful memories gone, moving to Ethan’s side. Obviously picking a side.  
“Fine, we were just catching up.” She kissed his cheek gently, Gabe looking away as she did. “Nothing to worry about.” Ethan nodded, smiling happily at her.  
“Dean says dinner is ready, but he won’t cook for the archangel,” he laughed slightly, hoping it was an established joke, leading them back to the kitchen.  
“Ah, sweet as ever, Deany boy. Some things never change, do they.” Gabe feigned a smile, falling in behind the other two, letting his smile fade immediately. This was going to be harder than he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little more Cas and Destiel centric at the end. just to give ya a lil taste

Dinner was as normal as it could be. Dean wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t cook for Gabriel. Not that Gabe minded too much, he almost missed the ridiculousness of Dean’s behavior. Almost. The only thing that irked Gabe was how acclimated Ethan was. Dean would always be sure to get his attention before he said anything, giving the man the chance to read his lips. And Cassie was trying her hand at sign language. A flair of bitterness rose up in Gabe. They had never been that accommodating to him. They hated him, openly. That did this new guy have that he didn’t? Well, Ethan had one thing on him. He had Sam and Gabe didn’t. He could tell Sam wasn’t trying to rub it in his face, but it’s not like she tried to hide the relationship. 

She sat shoulder to shoulder with Ethan, constantly brushing his hair out of his face, or signing things to him. Gabe could tell how happy she was. He knew those looks she was giving him. Those were the looks Gabriel hoped were reserved for only him. But when Sam had a relationship she was proud of, it seemed like everyone was allowed to see them. The only feeling of self hatred crawled back over Gabriel’s skin. 

The same feelings of guilt and shame that had plagued him after he had left Heaven found their old home in the pit of his stomach. He clenched his hands under the table, letting all his emotional energy release itself by digging his nails into the palms of his hands. He was ripped out of his thoughts by Ethan’s voice focusing on him. 

“So, Gabriel, Sam tells me you’re a troublemaker,” he had a friendly smile on his face, trying to figure out this newcomer. 

“I invented the phrase troublemaker, kid.” Gabe plastered a grin on his face, his hands still clenched, “I’m pretty sure I invented the first prank in Heaven. I mean, after Lucifer, he really invented it. I perfected it though.” 

“What was it?” Ethan said, leaning forward as if to not miss a word. 

Gabe chuckled at the memory, “I covered my older brother in holy oil, then dumped all of the fledglings malted feathers on him. He looked like a giant ass chicken.” 

Ethan laughed, while the others just grimaced. Ethan didn’t seem to understand the wrath of angels, or how it felt to be pranked by Gabriel himself. Gabe liked it though, he was happy there was someone in the bunker he hadn’t hurt yet. 

Cas didn’t laugh though. It seemed as though she had lost the capability to laugh at Gabe’s jokes. Thousands of years ago, it’s all she would’ve wanted to hear about. That and stories about Earth. She was infatuated. Mostly with the bugs. Especially bees. And flowers. And humans, once she finally noticed them. Humans were amazing to her. Especially Sam and Dean. She would’ve given up a long time ago if it weren’t for Dean. And Sam. She loves both of them equally and in the exact same way. Or so she tells herself.

After listening to Gabriel as much as she can, Cas rises from the table, muttering out an excuse she knows no one will buy, heading away from the being who gave her so much pain. She can feel Dean’s eyes on her as she walks away. 

Those beautiful green eyes.

She had never seen anything like that before. Seeing him for the first time had changed her life, she just didn’t know how much it would then. 

Cas wandered back to the library, sitting down in one of the arm chairs, just lost in thought. What would her brother being back mean for them? Would he have an active role in her life now? Sam and Dean were the only constants usually, but would he be added into the mix? Cas was broken out of her thoughts by a voice calling her name. 

“Cas?” Dean walked toward her, standing over her with a look of concern on his face. “You doin’ okay?” 

Cas blinked looking up at him, forgetting she had to actually give him a response.   
“O-oh, yes, yes I’m fine,” she pushed a curl behind her ear, breaking her gaze. “I just didn’t see the point in sitting there anymore.”’

“Yeahh.. I don’t like him either.” Dean chuckled, filling glasses with whiskey, pushing one into her hand before she could object. “It’s not even cause of all the shit he’s done to me. It’s cause of all the shit he’s done to Sam. She’s too much of a romantic for him to keep leaving.” He emptied his glass with a swallow. “What about you? Why do you hate him?” 

Cas stared at the brown liquid in front of her, thinking the best way to explain herself. 

“Before he left, I was.. protected. He watched over me and taught me. I didn’t bother anyone. I wasn’t noticed. But, once he left, I was noticed. My flaws were not as accepted as they used to be and they had to be dealt with.” Cas stared at the floor, allowing herself to be swallowed up by her memories. The pain, the brainwashing. Learning to be good, learning to behave. Following orders. Obeying. Must obey. Must follow orders. Must- 

“Cas? Hey, snap out of it.” Dean had moved in front of her, the concern even more prominent on his face. “You aren’t back there anymore. You’re safe here, with us. You’re home.”

Warmth replaced the cold of her memories. Cas felt as if she were in a field of flowers on a summer’s day under his gaze. She was home.


	5. Chapter 5

After Cas stormed away from the dinner table, an uncomfortable silence settled over them. At least for Gabriel and Sam. Ethan seemed more than content. Of course he was, Gabe thought, Sam is all over him, any guy would be content. 

“I guess we should clean these dishes up,” Sam said, giving Ethan a look. Since Ethan had joined them in the bunker, him and Sam had taken over kitchen duty. It was the time they really got to spend together, except for the time they tried to make dinner. There’s a reason they’re on clean up duty now. 

“Oh, I got it.” Gabe snapped his finger, cleaning everything up instantaneously. 

“Oh, uh.. Thanks, Gabe.” Sam gave him a smile, hiding the disappointment the best she could. 

“It’s really amazing what you can do,” Ethan said, smiling, nodding toward Gabe’s hands. 

“Thanks, man. Sometimes it’s been my downfall though, apparently..” Gabe mumbled, quickly glancing at Sam, her jaw hardening under his gaze. 

This was the worst return trip for Gabriel. He preferred anything over this. Even the time she had nearly killed him. The make up sex had been great that time, and now that wasn’t even a possibility. Not that this was all about the sex. 

Gabe didn’t know how to describe how much he loved the woman sitting across from him. As an archangel, he had been here since the beginning of time. He had seen the human race change, for good and for bad. Of course he knew about the Winchester’s from the beginning as well. Everyone knew them in heaven. Dean starring as Michael, Sam starring as Lucifer, a match for the ages. 

Of course he didn’t know those Winchester’s personally, not until a little voice reached his ear. The young voice of Sam Winchester praying to him for protection. Sam learned about the archangels when her and her brother were staying with their friend, Pastor Jim. Sam didn’t know about the big bad world yet, but she was drawn to the stained glass windows of the church. She heard about the different angels and who they gave their protection. For some reason, Gabriel the Archangel was the one who she was drawn to.

So, she got on her knees next to her bed that night and prayed to him. She prayed for protection and told him that she missed her dad and that she loved her brother sooo much. It was the first time in centuries Gabe had been prayed to and by the Sam Winchester, nonetheless. He cherished that prayer, and could still say it from memory.

From then on, he kept an eye on her. Even after he left heaven, he never left her. Of course she didn’t know the level of his dedication, but he always had been completely devoted to her. Which made her being with someone else so much worse. Not that it was in his control. 

“Does anyone want a drink?” Sam said, standing up, finally peeling herself off of Ethan, “I could go for a whiskey.” 

“Whiskey or margarita?” Ethan smirked, remembering the last time they had margaritas and got incredibly tipsy then incredibly hungover. 

Sam laughed, her eyes twinkling, “No, no more margaritas, at least for us. Oh,” she cleared her throat, after seeing the confusion on Gabe’s face, “we made too many margaritas the other night, it wasn’t good.”

“And then Castiel cockblocked us,” Ethan laughed, Sam’s cheek flushing. 

“Well, she does have terrible timing, I can attest to that.” Gabe chuckled, trying to make it appear effortless. He was starting to feel more and more like he didn’t belong here. Cas didn’t want him here, Sam didn’t want him here. He wished he had stayed dead this time. 

“So whiskey?” Sam asked again, leading the way to the library, pouring and polishing off a glass before the boys got there. 

“Wait, Gabe,” Ethan put a hand up to stop him, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure, anything,” not that he was going to answer truthfully. 

“Do you still love her?” He said it so casually, Gabe almost didn’t catch it. 

“Do I-“ The weight of his answer is too much to bear. But he couldn’t keep running from this. “Yeah, I do. I really do.” 

Ethan nodded, that answer merely confirming what he already knew. “Does she know?” 

Gabe shook his head, staring down at the table. “No. I don’t think so.” 

“Tell her.” 

“What?” Gabe lifted his head, looking at the man in front of him. 

“Tell her,” there was a slight waiver to Ethan’s voice, but he knew it was the right thing, “She needs to know. I was.. I was thinking of leaving, actually. It’s good to know she has someone to look after.” 

“I do really love it here. With everyone, especially Sam. But I’m not made to just.. sit. I’m a hunter. I need to be on the move. I need that more than I need Sam..” 

Gabe let the words wash over him. How did he always end up this lucky? Was this his dad messing with him or did everything line up perfectly in his favor? 

“You boys coming?” Sam poked her head back into the kitchen, giving, at least Ethan, a bright smile. 

“Sorry, Sam, we’re coming,” Ethan smiled back, it was his turn for his smile to not quite reach his eyes. Sam was none the wiser of the men’s conversation, not knowing the mental plans of either of the men in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you’re enjoying my self indulgent fic :)


End file.
